As a parent, you are responsible for protecting and informing your children about illnesses, dangers, and what acceptable and unacceptable actions are in life. Children primarily rely on their parents, and other close peers to steer their own decisions. Parents should educate themselves about drug use and facts, in order to give their children correct and useful information regarding the issue. Just simply stating “drugs are bad” is not enough. Adolescent kids need to to be talked to in an honest and straightforward manner. Trust and honesty will be the only way to develop a relationship where your child will feel comfortable talking about the subject. At Coalition, we offer family therapy programs to help your family deal with the difficulties of addiction and recovery.
How to talk to children age 4-7
You might be thinking that your child is too young to start discussing substance use and problems related to such. Unfortunately, this is incorrect. Due to media playing such a role in children’s lives today, they will often be exposed to drugs, alcohol, and tobacco at a young age. When something comes up in the media regarding the use of drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, use it to your advantage as a teachable moment to discuss with your child as to why these things can cause harm to their bodies. Share with your child the negative effects of drugs. Being young, there are certain things you should leave out. For instance, drug overdoses are not necessary when discussing the harmful effects of drugs. Simply stating that “drugs are very bad for your health” is a good start. Also, share the fact that these substances can ruin people’s lives. Kids can be very curious, so if they ask a lot of questions, try to answer them the best you can without frightening them. If you feel a topic is too mature for them, table it until they are older. Be sure to use terms and language your child can understand. It is also important to keep these conversations calm so they are comfortable bringing up topics in the future.
How to talk to children age 8- 12
As your children grow older, it may become easier to talk to them about topics like drugs and alcohol, due to their maturing and deeper understanding of the world. You can start by asking your children how they feel about drugs. By asking questions in a calm, non-judgemental manner you are more likely to get answers from your children enabling further discussions on the issues. Try not to shut down any questions your child may have because this could teach them that they are unable to communicate with you in a healthy way. Use topics in the news, and other current events regarding drug use to bring up the conversation with your child. It is important to give your child accurate information regarding drug use. Don’t simply make something up to get off the topic. Tell your child you can research together. Children at this age are usually eager to learn and to please their parents. You can move from the topic of “Drugs are bad” to why they are bad. Bring up the topic of addiction. “People enjoy the feeling of the drug so much that they can’t live without it”. I know this may sound crazy to tell your child drugs are so awesome people can’t stop from using them, but it is the honesty that will help them in the end. Programs like D.A.R.E. promoted scare-tactics on drugs, which helped some from ever trying substances in the first place; which is great and the point of the program, but despite these programs, many kids still end up experimenting with these substances. When they realize they are alive, haven’t overdosed, actually find the drug enjoyable, and aren’t immediately addicted, they may gain a false sense of security. The dangers of drugs are not only the immediate overdoses you see in the news but the long-term health effects on the body and brain. It is also very important to practice what you preach. No matter how much you tell your child that drug, alcohol, and tobacco use is bad and can harm them, they will be looking up to you and their other closest peers in order to make decisions for themselves.
How to talk to children ages 13-17
At this point in your child’s life, they are likely to know other teens who use drugs and alcohol. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), by the time they (children) are seniors, almost 70 percent of high school students will have tried alcohol, half will have taken an illegal drug, nearly 40 percent will have smoked a cigarette, and more than 20 percent will have used a prescription drug for a nonmedical purpose. When talking about drugs at this age, you can start to go into the details and science of each drug. Talk about why addiction happens and how it can slowly ruin a person’s life. Go over the different sorts of drugs they may encounter such as alcohol, marijuana, and Adderall. It is a good idea to cover the effects and affects of each. For instance, each of these drugs has significant effects on the brain and over time can cause significant damage to its function, especially during early development. Drugs have both short-term and long-term effects. There is a strong inverse-relation between drug use and academic performance. Partying with alcohol usually takes away from academics. Marijuana leads an individual to be less productive and therefore will also lead to a lack of drive, especially towards academics. Also, the brain isn’t fully developed until age 25, so up until this point, these drugs can drastically affect its development. If anything, ask them to wait until age 25 to experiment. (By then they should understand fully the negative effects of drugs) This way they will not hinder their brain development. Everyone wants to be smart and successful, so this can be a very easy incentive. Instilling a drive to be smart and successful can be enough of motivation to stay away from social pressures. There are many different reasons that children from this age group experiment with drugs. Whether it is due to peer pressure, to aim to do better in school or to simply try something new, it is crucial that you are playing an important role in your child’s life and maintaining a healthy, active relationship with them. Being honest with them about the effects of drugs is a good start. Also never criticizing their usage is very important. Criticism leads to resentment, leading to a lack of trust. Without trust, there can be no honest communication about drug usage. Instead, talk to them, and find out the reasons why. You are more likely to know what is going on in your child’s life by maintaining an active role. It is okay to ask your children specific questions about drugs and alcohol use. It is also important to monitor your children’s social media without invading privacy and subsequently ruining trust. Who your child surrounds themselves with may be a big indicator of what type actions your child will make towards drug and alcohol use. Household environments are also very important. Children who are more exposed to drug usage are more likely to become users at a young age. Children will experiment in their young years and into early adulthood. It is very important to let your child know that you are there for them, and if there ever is a problem that they can discuss it with you without judgment. Tell your child that no matter the situation, never ride in a vehicle where someone was drinking or using drugs. Luckily, in this day and age companies such as Uber and Lyft are a way for your child to arrive at their destination safely. Some parents add their account to their child’s phone to ensure this doesn’t happen. It is understandable that this may not be financially possible so you should also tell your child that no matter the time or place, you will come to pick them up and ensure they arrive home safely. Keeping your child away from drugs is no easy feat. Children will be constantly faced with peer-pressure to try and experiment with drugs; but as long as you educate your child about the short-term and long-term dangers of these drugs, communicate your feelings honestly, and instill the drive to be smart and educated and overcome the curiosity for the betterment of their youth, you can rest easy.
